s*** my (totally sober) co-worker says.

I love where I work. It's great. Nice place, funny people, plenty of fancy pens, no mean kids yelling at me while eating hot cheettos and I am free to use the bathroom anytime I want. YES. So all day every day I'm working along, making it all happen, and then my twenty-something, non-intern, totally sober co-worker speaks. Instead of explaining the comedic value of statements made on any given day I've recorded several "treats" for you to appreciate and ponder how many black cats bit said co-worker during childhood. 

"I've had my dancing days, like I've always wanted to be a Rockette."

"Why did I win tickets to that Gavin DeGraw concert? Because I'm always on Facebook, but never my personal page, no."

"I kinda want to do a back handspring but there's not enough floor space."

"I'm the reason we have to sign a waiver before department outings."

"Last year I dressed as the Twitter Fail Whale for Halloween-at-work-day and squirted everyone with a water gun."

To another co-worker: "Happy Parenthood Day! (awkward silence) I just saw your Facebook conversation with _____ about it!"

"I love Kelly Clarkson."

"Yes, I watched all seven season of "One Tree Hill" in two weeks." 

"Why didn't I send in a tape for 'The Bachelor?' I am cuter than all of those girls."

***Disclaimer: I do believe said co-worker means well and maybe one day will realize the error of the aforementioned ways... so as my mother would say, Bless!

Go register to vote. Now. XOXO