He's not crazy. Well he's 'Norman Bates have your dead mom in a rocking chair crazy' but he seems harmless. He's not over dramatic crazy. - my favorite and your's, Peter Depp, @peterdepp
Girl, discussing her ex of six months: Yeah, we were together a long time but I gave him back all of his stuff and got rid of most everything that he gave me.
Me: I don't blame you, that helps. Good for you!
Girl: Well yeah but I still make my bed every morning and place those two matching teddy bears he gave me in the middle. I mean, that's where they live.
Let's all promise to never ever be embarrassed of feelings but also shutting the f&ck up more! - Sophia Rossi, @sofifii
I'm so underwhelmed by guys right now. The only male getting me off the couch and into skinny jeans and makeup is Timothy Tebow himself. - O' Canada's Alli Kearns
Girl at lunch #1: He's holding my Bible and pearls hostage.
Girl at lunch #2: Why can't he just drop it off?
Girl at lunch #1: Because that would make perfect sense and he never makes perfect sense.
Girl at lunch #3: Those are like the two classiest things he could have of your's.
Girl at lunch #2: Sounds like a self-help book, "Pearls and a Bible."
Girl at lunch #4: Or a bad country song sung by Reba.
Stay away from him, he has the sense of humor of a snail. - THE Kenna Rowe, @SKennysays
Woman at new mexican place: I just adore that shirt on you.
Her date, easily twenty years her senior: You.
Woman: So tell me about your day, I want to hear everything, of course. Oh and did I tell you? I have a pool.
Her date: (sips brandy) Strong.
Woman at new mexican place: I just adore that shirt on you.
Her date, easily twenty years her senior: You.
Woman: So tell me about your day, I want to hear everything, of course. Oh and did I tell you? I have a pool.
Her date: (sips brandy) Strong.
I hope you don't mind but I told her as soon as she got in the car! I just couldn't help it, when she asked about you I word-vommitted in excitement! - my life coach and awesome friend, Beth Seeley
What have we learned today? Communication is always good, even when it isn't, and being funny covers a multitude of sins. XOXO.
What have we learned today? Communication is always good, even when it isn't, and being funny covers a multitude of sins. XOXO.
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