Real talk.

Last week I turned 26. A big milestone, if you're into that sort of thing. Age is terrifying, yes, fine, I agree. What's even more terrifying is the unnatural tradition of celebrating our inevitable loss of youth with toxic dyes and carbs, but I do love social gatherings. My friends proved to not only be pretty but functional, showering me with love and parties and glittered treats all week long. Even better, not one of them instagrammed a picture of me drawing a watch on my arm after Karaoke Santa told me no rap songs allowed until after midnight. After taking a nap and rehydrating I concluded I feel great about being 26. Everything is as it should be and it's all happening. 

With that being said, there are still questions left unanswered, people and ideas I can't seem to wrap my head around even now that I'm a year older. I'm sure you can relate.

THINGS I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND:

purity rings

Ashton Kutcher

boys who don't have real jobs

tap water

Scientology

people who (still) don't have an iphone

girls who do CrossFit

Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney's sons who resemble Ken dolls

shoulder dancing

Don Draper-shadiness

maxi dresses

the state of Alaska

people who leave voicemails

There are more, trust me, but (some of us) have career ladders we're trying to climb and long lunches to take. I love you all. #freefiona

xoxo

Here's to you, Katie Holmes.

Ok, confession time: I have seen every episode of Dawson's Creek. Twice, maybe more. I realize that may shock some of you and for others, well your assumptions about me were just validated. Back before Netflix I owned most of the seasons and during college I would skip class, chapel and minor social events to watch Dawson be weird and Pacey be adorable with Joey, played by MS. Katie Holmes. Then she went and married Tom Cruise, easily the slimiest guy in Hollywood, and soon after he was jumping on couches and Katie was just looking sad. Like no make-up or morning coffee sad. I blamed first and foremost their faux marriage (I never bought that their union was based on love and sexual attraction) and maybe more importantly Scientology (an expensive, made-up religion, cue the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard). I honestly thought we had lost Katie forever until she proved herself to be a total boss and served Tom papers. Here are five specific reasons why Katie is a certified bad ass.

1. She is Suri's Mom.

She is adorable and has her own burn book - what's not to love? Katie lets her dress herself on the daily (thus the princess dresses, baby heels and an occasional tutu) and takes her everywhere. Katie also ensured that she is solely responsible for Suri's education, meaning no Scientology schools or cruises, and that she is not to be exposed to the church in any fashion. Sounds like a great mom to me.  

2. She used a disposable cellphone (hopefully Cricket) to communicate with her lawyers, family, etc.

I'm not sure if Katie watches too much CSI or Lifetime movies but girl covered her tracks. Supposedly a friend got it for her so her husband and his Scientologist minions wouldn't suspect she was planning her escape. 

3. She had already rehired her pre-Tom publicity team by the time she left her husband. 

So when Tom convinced Katie to marry him she had to let her old publicist, stylist, lawyers, PR everything go and hire Tom's people. I love that she said goodbye to their (his) staff before she even told him. 

4. She refused to say Scientology wasn't to blame for the break-up.

Talk about a well-written statement - the couple claimed in the settlement to "respect each other's commitment to each of their respective beliefs."

5. She isn't going into hibernation mode.

Like a true boss she took Suri out and about the day she filed for divorce and all the S hit the fan. She wasn't scared of the mentally unstable paparazzi or the unmarked cars full of Scientology leaders. She took her daughter to the zoo and looked fabulous doing so. 

xoxo