here's something to talk about.

Conversations about relationships keep me young. Whether it's overhearing two friends recovering from a tiff over something ridiculous or listening to your friend's reaction to your close-to-perfect first date, conversations centered around relationships are never dull. Relationships get sticky, communication bobs and weaves and how do we deal? We talk about it. On any given day I hear equal parts genius and "OH BROTHER" advice/musings - not sure which is more educational but believe me, both are entertaining. Here are a few of my favorites from this week (and it's only Thursday).

He's not crazy. Well he's 'Norman Bates have your dead mom in a rocking chair crazy' but he seems harmless. He's not over dramatic crazy. - my favorite and your's, Peter Depp, @peterdepp

Girl, discussing her ex of six months: Yeah, we were together a long time but I gave him back all of his stuff and got rid of most everything that he gave me.

Me: I don't blame you, that helps. Good for you!

Girl: Well yeah but I still make my bed every morning and place those two matching teddy bears he gave me in the middle. I mean, that's where they live.

Let's all promise to never ever be embarrassed of feelings but also shutting the f&ck up more! - Sophia Rossi, @sofifii 

I'm so underwhelmed by guys right now. The only male getting me off the couch and into skinny jeans and makeup is Timothy Tebow himself. - O' Canada's Alli Kearns

Girl at lunch #1: He's holding my Bible and pearls hostage.

Girl at lunch #2: Why can't he just drop it off?

Girl at lunch #1: Because that would make perfect sense and he never makes perfect sense.

Girl at lunch #3: Those are like the two classiest things he could have of your's.

Girl at lunch #2: Sounds like a self-help book, "Pearls and a Bible."

Girl at lunch #4: Or a bad country song sung by Reba. 

Stay away from him, he has the sense of humor of a snail. - THE Kenna Rowe, @SKennysays

Woman at new mexican place: I just adore that shirt on you.
Her date, easily twenty years her senior: You.
Woman: So tell me about your day, I want to hear everything, of course. Oh and did I tell you? I have a pool.
Her date: (sips brandy) Strong.

I hope you don't mind but I told her as soon as she got in the car! I just couldn't help it, when she asked about you I word-vommitted in excitement! - my life coach and awesome friend, Beth Seeley

What have we learned today? Communication is always good, even when it isn't, and being funny covers a multitude of sins. XOXO.

for the love of Kanye.

We all get a little cray from time to time, some more than others, but hey! no judgement. Establishing a career and being the center of your social circle can get exhausting at times, especially if you have a job you actually like and friends who you like more. Here are some of my favorite simple, effective - and best of all - totally free ways to feel better when things get a little crazy.

Get rid of bad relationships. Maybe you're dating a narcissistic psychopath that likes to make everything your fault. Maybe your current bff likes to remind you of your minor flaws over a not so friendly lunch. Exchange the woe-is-me types for the go-getters who actually smile. Get rid of the Johnny Rainclouds - you ain't got time for that!

Talk it out. Never underestimate the power of putting it all out there. Venting is healthy and I guarantee your close friends will love you more for coming to them for support and guidance of sorts. Wine helps too.

Practice gratitude. I have become semi-obsessed with the private yoga class I attend every Monday. For one whole hour I am focused, quiet and totally at peace with both body and mind. Don't I sound like a yogi? The greatest lesson I have learned from my practice is the importance of expressing gratitude. Finding the beauty in each day and being thankful for it's presence. Namaste.

Set aside some YOU time. Yes, it's great to vent to your friends and even better to surround yourself with positive people, but you need some alone time to get it all right in your own head. I do not suggest sitting in silence; I do suggest ordering takeout and listening to Grace on vinyl.

Try saying "no" every once in a while. If it's good enough for Nancy Reagan, it's good enough for me. Contrary to popular belief, you can politely turn down an invitation and give yourself permission to rest. Plus you appear more aloof if you say no every once in a while.

And if the above methods fail, there's always Vegas. xoxo.

Olympic Hangover.

For the past two weeks we have spent questionable amounts of time cheering on men in spandex and  obsessing over sports we did not know existed. What other event could (peacefully) unite every country on the globe and manage to bring the Spice Girls back? Only the Olympics. Sadly, like all good things the games and priceless Bob Costas commentary had to come to an end. If you now have that melancholy, lost feeling you get when you have to go back to real life after a long, much-needed vacation, you are not alone. Here are some activities to help you nurse that Olympic hangover.

• Enroll in gymnastics. Spandex optional.

• Say hello to your Nigerian neighbors across the street - you now have something to discuss.

• Go outside.

• Shark Week, if you're into that sort of thing.

• Laugh at Michael Phelp's new ad for Louis Vuitton where he can be seen partially submerged in a tub while wearing a suit and a pair of goggles while the overpriced bag conveniently sits beside him on a towel.

• Plan a trip to London. Take me with you? 

• Buy, and read, Live to Give by my favorite, Austin Gutwein. He has founded his own charity organization to help those affected with AIDS, written two bestsellers and been featured in TIME magazine - all before his freshman year of college. You can learn more about Austin and his general awesomeness here. (I hear his publicist is really nice, too)

• Color in your Colour Me Good, Ryan Gosling 15-page coloring book. You can thank the UK for this excellent creation. 

• Buy new running shoes, or actually use your running shoes.

xoxo

"chicken's aren't gay, " kenna says.

This is Kenna. 

Kenna has loved Chick Fil A since she was a wee one, but today's hysteria has caused her much distress. She has begun to rethink everything she has ever known about chicken, and social media in general. Why did the chicken cross the road? Was it in fact wearing a glitter tank? 

Below are her thoughts on Chick Fil A, chicken and all the unnecessary hysteria surrounding it all. Please note: these comments were recorded in real time - trust me, she talks entirely too fast - and no chicken, or Chick Fil A employee, were harmed in the creation of this piece of greatness. 

_____________________________________________________

Talk chick get hit.

August 1st - First homeschool field trip of the year. "Come on guys, get in the van!" As little Jedidiah orders a Genesis number 2. 

Chickens are not gay. Chickens are not straight. They're just chickens. 

Last time I checked, standing in line for a number 4 was not news-worthy. 

 

For those of you who want to do some spring cleaning on Facebook, here's your perfect time. It's like all the beta fish feeding on opinions and chicken nuggets. 

Opinions are like ***holes, everybody has one. 

You're going to block out an entire day to eat double your calorie count on fried foods and polynesian sauce? Really?

I haven't seen a craze like this since the beanie baby fad of 95'.

I hope Chick Fil A's everywhere adjusted their sales plan for today's traffic. 

For those of you who still have brain cells left, stop talking about the chicken. 

Those kids worked for their $7.35 an hour today. 

(After reading her 15th ridiculous FB post) "I'm going to get a double down. Now."

Let's stop talking about Chick Fil A and focus on more important things, like the wonder that is Ryan Lochte and the entire US Men's Swim Team. 

You're welcome. 

xoxo

"big fat floppy boobs"

Just when I was feeling good about the state of women's body image and self confidence, THIS happens. Did you hear? Apparently Kate Upton is fat. That's right, fat. I believe the exact quote was "fat and vulgar." Pro-anexeria website, SkinnyGossip blasts the 20 yr old model for flaunting her "huge thighs, NO waist and big, fat, floppy boobs"during a recent bikini-clad appearance on the runway. Isn't it the American dream to have BIG, fat, floppy boobs? Basically every breathing male would answer a firm YES. The website continues in ignorance by adding, "Yes, the lovely Kate Upton, confidently lumbering up a runway like there's a buffet at the end of it."  

Seriously? My level of anger only grew as I read more of the blog post, if you can even call it that. SkinnyGossip went on to blast Upton for being "lazy and lardy," asking us, "Have we gotten so fat in this country that Kate is the best we can aim for?" I skimmed the rest of the content, shuddering as Kate was compared to a "fat adolescent who needs to lay off the burgers" and a "pregnant girl without shape wear." 

Obviously the genius behind SkinnyGossip keeps herself anonymous, but even she was shocked when Kate herself read her crazy S. Her statement? "I'm not going to starve just to be thin. I want to enjoy life and I can't if I'm not eating and miserable." Amen, sister. I mean, COME ON, it's Kate Upton. She's been on the cover of Sports Illustrated AND GQ, all before turning 20. Most recently she took Paris Hilton's place as spokesperson for Carl's Jr. restaurants - starring in commercials where she is basically getting to third base with a cheeseburger. Her body is Ridiculous with a capital R and if THAT is fat, sign me up. 

The media and dopey guys put enough pressure on women to look a certain way, affecting our self confidence and how we feel in our own skin. We girls have to stick together and love our bodies, appreciating all shapes and sizes, working on being healthy and happy. We all love Kate because she actually HAS a body and more remarkably, a personality. So Ms. SkinnyGossip, keep on snacking on ice chips and that half crouton whilst writing ridiculousness against healthy, confident, beautiful women while your boyfriend drools over Kate Upton's big, fat, floppy boobs. 

Word.

Here's to you, Katie Holmes.

Ok, confession time: I have seen every episode of Dawson's Creek. Twice, maybe more. I realize that may shock some of you and for others, well your assumptions about me were just validated. Back before Netflix I owned most of the seasons and during college I would skip class, chapel and minor social events to watch Dawson be weird and Pacey be adorable with Joey, played by MS. Katie Holmes. Then she went and married Tom Cruise, easily the slimiest guy in Hollywood, and soon after he was jumping on couches and Katie was just looking sad. Like no make-up or morning coffee sad. I blamed first and foremost their faux marriage (I never bought that their union was based on love and sexual attraction) and maybe more importantly Scientology (an expensive, made-up religion, cue the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard). I honestly thought we had lost Katie forever until she proved herself to be a total boss and served Tom papers. Here are five specific reasons why Katie is a certified bad ass.

1. She is Suri's Mom.

She is adorable and has her own burn book - what's not to love? Katie lets her dress herself on the daily (thus the princess dresses, baby heels and an occasional tutu) and takes her everywhere. Katie also ensured that she is solely responsible for Suri's education, meaning no Scientology schools or cruises, and that she is not to be exposed to the church in any fashion. Sounds like a great mom to me.  

2. She used a disposable cellphone (hopefully Cricket) to communicate with her lawyers, family, etc.

I'm not sure if Katie watches too much CSI or Lifetime movies but girl covered her tracks. Supposedly a friend got it for her so her husband and his Scientologist minions wouldn't suspect she was planning her escape. 

3. She had already rehired her pre-Tom publicity team by the time she left her husband. 

So when Tom convinced Katie to marry him she had to let her old publicist, stylist, lawyers, PR everything go and hire Tom's people. I love that she said goodbye to their (his) staff before she even told him. 

4. She refused to say Scientology wasn't to blame for the break-up.

Talk about a well-written statement - the couple claimed in the settlement to "respect each other's commitment to each of their respective beliefs."

5. She isn't going into hibernation mode.

Like a true boss she took Suri out and about the day she filed for divorce and all the S hit the fan. She wasn't scared of the mentally unstable paparazzi or the unmarked cars full of Scientology leaders. She took her daughter to the zoo and looked fabulous doing so. 

xoxo

talk is overrated.

This first week of July in images, with minimal captions. 

You're welcome.

So NBC fired Ann Curry. I guess the sexual tension between her and Al Roker became too palpable.

 My office, a la chapter twelve.  

Take that, Scientology! Suri, you have a lot to write about in your burn book. 

"I love you but you don't know what you're talking about."

Grace on repeat. There is no excuse to not buy (and love) this album.    

Hot Chicken Festival for the 4th. God Bless America.

Lollapalooza scheduling is fun. 

xoxo