Real talk.

Last week I turned 26. A big milestone, if you're into that sort of thing. Age is terrifying, yes, fine, I agree. What's even more terrifying is the unnatural tradition of celebrating our inevitable loss of youth with toxic dyes and carbs, but I do love social gatherings. My friends proved to not only be pretty but functional, showering me with love and parties and glittered treats all week long. Even better, not one of them instagrammed a picture of me drawing a watch on my arm after Karaoke Santa told me no rap songs allowed until after midnight. After taking a nap and rehydrating I concluded I feel great about being 26. Everything is as it should be and it's all happening. 

With that being said, there are still questions left unanswered, people and ideas I can't seem to wrap my head around even now that I'm a year older. I'm sure you can relate.

THINGS I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND:

purity rings

Ashton Kutcher

boys who don't have real jobs

tap water

Scientology

people who (still) don't have an iphone

girls who do CrossFit

Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney's sons who resemble Ken dolls

shoulder dancing

Don Draper-shadiness

maxi dresses

the state of Alaska

people who leave voicemails

There are more, trust me, but (some of us) have career ladders we're trying to climb and long lunches to take. I love you all. #freefiona

xoxo

girl crush: jessica lea mayfield

This girl is golden. At 22 she has mastered the art of stark vulnerability. Her lyrics are piercing in a way you can't quite place, and her sound is the perfect mix of blues and country, with a little bit of rock mixed in for extra spice. At 15, she recorded her first album in her brother's bedroom, printing only 100 copies. One of those copies miraculously fell into the hands of Dan Auerbach (respect) and after sending her a message on MYSPACE - yes, I'm serious - they hit the studio together and have been releasing amazing music ever since.

"I think she's dark and moody in a mysterious way," Dan said of the recording experience. " I'm just always really excited to make music with her."

If that isn't enough reason to dub her a badass I'm not sure what is. 

Who: Originally from Ohio but spent most of her childhood in Nashville. She recently bought a four-bedroom 1890s farmhouse in Ohio and painted one of the guest bedrooms red, white and blue so she can tell her guests they're sleeping in "America." She's freaking weird and I love it. 

Sounds Like: A sexy and disarming collision of country, old school rock and a little bit of pop. Got that? It makes sense in my head and when you listen maybe this will all make sense. Think Lucinda Williams with a little Jenny Lewis-ness while looking like a teenage version of Michelle Williams. 

Her and Mr. Auerback: Dan discovered Mayfield's first EP White Lies on MySpace when she was still in high school. Supposedly Dan sent her a message like this: "Hey, I play in a local band called the Black Keys. Let's hang out." They recorded eight songs on day one of their friendship and Dan has released all of her albums since. I love a good collaborative effort. 

Mean Romantic: Since she began writing at the age of 11, all of her romantic experiences ended up documented in music. In her early stuff she wrote about firsts - first kiss, first boyfriend, first heartbreak - and in her last two albums she's moved on to more raw emotion with more, um, agressive lyrics. How does she describe it? "The new album is kinda me being a dick." 

Listen Now: Our Hearts Are Wrong (Tell Me) 
"my self-esteem is heating up the room, you're intimidating as all hell but I ain't scared of you"

You've Won Me Over (With Blasphemy So Heartfelt) 
"and it's okay if you love me cause you love everyone that you know
and it's okay if you kiss me cause you kiss all the girlies you know
and i'd stand my ground if i had a leg to stand on
and you should avow for your award winning performance
cause you won me over"

You're welcome. xoxo. 

be a go-getter, people.

Today's message is two fold but can be summed up in one call to action: be a go-getter. I'll explain in the form of two stories, the first of which is both hilarious and ridiculous, the second is just ridiculous. Shall we begin?

Ending a relationship is never fun. It's typically awkward and then plain awful, usually with one party feeling oddly reflective while the other is off making a pizza in his basement. Stopping something that was started months or years prior is strange and feelings are always hurt. The worst? Getting back your stuff. A simple task mysteriously becomes an act of Congress. Rocket science, even.

Suddenly you find yourself a victim to your own master plan, placing the bag of his oxfords and socks (among other items)  out in the morning, bringing them in at night. Tired of this routine I decided to send a cordial email requesting immediate action or he could find said items at Goodwill - see that? That is what we call being a go-getter....then a miracle happened. Back to the house after a fancy night at Holland House and found the bag to be gone. I (half) ran to the mailbox in my favorite wedges and there it was, my bible, in the mailbox, per my request. No pearls, but I figure one out of two isn't bad.

Now on to the just plain ridiculous, and disheartening really. If you know and love Nashville, or read magazines, you know and love Imogene + Willie. Not only have they single-handily brought back the concept of customized denim but they have a massive following of rockers with royalties and generally awesome people. The owners, Carrie and Matt Eddmenson, have not only brought excellent merchandise to 12 South but have encouraged community in the neighborhood with your favorite and mine, Supper + Song. One night a week they welcomed the community into their store's backyard to enjoy Mas Tacos and a free live show of epic proportions...maybe the most memorable was watching Karen sing to her kiddos who were busy making requests. I looked forward to every show, and if I wasn't able to attend I felt great just knowing it was happening.

So what's ridiculous? Due to sound complaints (what is wrong with people?) this lovely event is cancelled indefinitely, per a statement released this morning. What can we do? Speak up in the form of an email to the big guy: mayor@nashville.gov and state your case, preferably in well-written prose. Be that go-getter and let's keep supper + song.

Word.
XOXO.

here's something to talk about.

Conversations about relationships keep me young. Whether it's overhearing two friends recovering from a tiff over something ridiculous or listening to your friend's reaction to your close-to-perfect first date, conversations centered around relationships are never dull. Relationships get sticky, communication bobs and weaves and how do we deal? We talk about it. On any given day I hear equal parts genius and "OH BROTHER" advice/musings - not sure which is more educational but believe me, both are entertaining. Here are a few of my favorites from this week (and it's only Thursday).

He's not crazy. Well he's 'Norman Bates have your dead mom in a rocking chair crazy' but he seems harmless. He's not over dramatic crazy. - my favorite and your's, Peter Depp, @peterdepp

Girl, discussing her ex of six months: Yeah, we were together a long time but I gave him back all of his stuff and got rid of most everything that he gave me.

Me: I don't blame you, that helps. Good for you!

Girl: Well yeah but I still make my bed every morning and place those two matching teddy bears he gave me in the middle. I mean, that's where they live.

Let's all promise to never ever be embarrassed of feelings but also shutting the f&ck up more! - Sophia Rossi, @sofifii 

I'm so underwhelmed by guys right now. The only male getting me off the couch and into skinny jeans and makeup is Timothy Tebow himself. - O' Canada's Alli Kearns

Girl at lunch #1: He's holding my Bible and pearls hostage.

Girl at lunch #2: Why can't he just drop it off?

Girl at lunch #1: Because that would make perfect sense and he never makes perfect sense.

Girl at lunch #3: Those are like the two classiest things he could have of your's.

Girl at lunch #2: Sounds like a self-help book, "Pearls and a Bible."

Girl at lunch #4: Or a bad country song sung by Reba. 

Stay away from him, he has the sense of humor of a snail. - THE Kenna Rowe, @SKennysays

Woman at new mexican place: I just adore that shirt on you.
Her date, easily twenty years her senior: You.
Woman: So tell me about your day, I want to hear everything, of course. Oh and did I tell you? I have a pool.
Her date: (sips brandy) Strong.

I hope you don't mind but I told her as soon as she got in the car! I just couldn't help it, when she asked about you I word-vommitted in excitement! - my life coach and awesome friend, Beth Seeley

What have we learned today? Communication is always good, even when it isn't, and being funny covers a multitude of sins. XOXO.

for the love of Kanye.

We all get a little cray from time to time, some more than others, but hey! no judgement. Establishing a career and being the center of your social circle can get exhausting at times, especially if you have a job you actually like and friends who you like more. Here are some of my favorite simple, effective - and best of all - totally free ways to feel better when things get a little crazy.

Get rid of bad relationships. Maybe you're dating a narcissistic psychopath that likes to make everything your fault. Maybe your current bff likes to remind you of your minor flaws over a not so friendly lunch. Exchange the woe-is-me types for the go-getters who actually smile. Get rid of the Johnny Rainclouds - you ain't got time for that!

Talk it out. Never underestimate the power of putting it all out there. Venting is healthy and I guarantee your close friends will love you more for coming to them for support and guidance of sorts. Wine helps too.

Practice gratitude. I have become semi-obsessed with the private yoga class I attend every Monday. For one whole hour I am focused, quiet and totally at peace with both body and mind. Don't I sound like a yogi? The greatest lesson I have learned from my practice is the importance of expressing gratitude. Finding the beauty in each day and being thankful for it's presence. Namaste.

Set aside some YOU time. Yes, it's great to vent to your friends and even better to surround yourself with positive people, but you need some alone time to get it all right in your own head. I do not suggest sitting in silence; I do suggest ordering takeout and listening to Grace on vinyl.

Try saying "no" every once in a while. If it's good enough for Nancy Reagan, it's good enough for me. Contrary to popular belief, you can politely turn down an invitation and give yourself permission to rest. Plus you appear more aloof if you say no every once in a while.

And if the above methods fail, there's always Vegas. xoxo.

Olympic Hangover.

For the past two weeks we have spent questionable amounts of time cheering on men in spandex and  obsessing over sports we did not know existed. What other event could (peacefully) unite every country on the globe and manage to bring the Spice Girls back? Only the Olympics. Sadly, like all good things the games and priceless Bob Costas commentary had to come to an end. If you now have that melancholy, lost feeling you get when you have to go back to real life after a long, much-needed vacation, you are not alone. Here are some activities to help you nurse that Olympic hangover.

• Enroll in gymnastics. Spandex optional.

• Say hello to your Nigerian neighbors across the street - you now have something to discuss.

• Go outside.

• Shark Week, if you're into that sort of thing.

• Laugh at Michael Phelp's new ad for Louis Vuitton where he can be seen partially submerged in a tub while wearing a suit and a pair of goggles while the overpriced bag conveniently sits beside him on a towel.

• Plan a trip to London. Take me with you? 

• Buy, and read, Live to Give by my favorite, Austin Gutwein. He has founded his own charity organization to help those affected with AIDS, written two bestsellers and been featured in TIME magazine - all before his freshman year of college. You can learn more about Austin and his general awesomeness here. (I hear his publicist is really nice, too)

• Color in your Colour Me Good, Ryan Gosling 15-page coloring book. You can thank the UK for this excellent creation. 

• Buy new running shoes, or actually use your running shoes.

xoxo

"chicken's aren't gay, " kenna says.

This is Kenna. 

Kenna has loved Chick Fil A since she was a wee one, but today's hysteria has caused her much distress. She has begun to rethink everything she has ever known about chicken, and social media in general. Why did the chicken cross the road? Was it in fact wearing a glitter tank? 

Below are her thoughts on Chick Fil A, chicken and all the unnecessary hysteria surrounding it all. Please note: these comments were recorded in real time - trust me, she talks entirely too fast - and no chicken, or Chick Fil A employee, were harmed in the creation of this piece of greatness. 

_____________________________________________________

Talk chick get hit.

August 1st - First homeschool field trip of the year. "Come on guys, get in the van!" As little Jedidiah orders a Genesis number 2. 

Chickens are not gay. Chickens are not straight. They're just chickens. 

Last time I checked, standing in line for a number 4 was not news-worthy. 

 

For those of you who want to do some spring cleaning on Facebook, here's your perfect time. It's like all the beta fish feeding on opinions and chicken nuggets. 

Opinions are like ***holes, everybody has one. 

You're going to block out an entire day to eat double your calorie count on fried foods and polynesian sauce? Really?

I haven't seen a craze like this since the beanie baby fad of 95'.

I hope Chick Fil A's everywhere adjusted their sales plan for today's traffic. 

For those of you who still have brain cells left, stop talking about the chicken. 

Those kids worked for their $7.35 an hour today. 

(After reading her 15th ridiculous FB post) "I'm going to get a double down. Now."

Let's stop talking about Chick Fil A and focus on more important things, like the wonder that is Ryan Lochte and the entire US Men's Swim Team. 

You're welcome. 

xoxo