Gwyneth Paltrow is My Spirit Animal?

To be fair, I was on the fence about Gwyn for years. Yes, she's got the unattainable perfect blonde hair and porcelain gluten-free skin but is that enough? I specifically asked myself that very question after finally being allowed to watch Shakespeare in Love at the tender age of 14 when my mother gave in to my bribery. I had great taste in films even then! Okay, so as I watched the movie I realized the leading lady was a nice looking blonde who spoke too slowly, although I noted maybe Shakespeare was to blame for that last oddity.

Years later, aka LAST YEAR, I ended up randomly watching a lot of her films –including Country Strong, OY - and reading about her in my favorite magazines and online outlets where she was suddenly an expert on everything from skincare to eating clean. This counts as exhaustive research, so I've since worked through the fact that she named her kids after fruit and a major Biblical character, respectively, and grown to love her for who she is: an Oscar-winning Actress turned NYT Bestselling Author who is married to a Mr. Coldplay. As if that wasn't enough, she has been deemed MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN BEYONCE. Let that sink in for a moment. 

So for all of you non-believers/haters, I present to you 8 reasons to adore Gwyn:

1. She is 40 years old and looks like this.
2. Her list of past-suitors sounds like the Oscar red carpet line-up: Brad Pitt (in his prime), Ben Affleck & Luke Wilson. 
3. She's married to Chris Martin and all signs point to a happy, healthy marriage. Say you don't love Coldplay and I'll say you're a liar. 
4. Leonardo DiCaprio inspired her to become a vegetarian. 
5. Her favorite look? Jeans and a t-shirt with minimal make-up. (In love, yet?)
6. "I feel my most beautiful when I am truly myself. Meaning, when I accept exactly where I am in time and space, and I'm not judging myself in any way, and I feel that I have the peace that comes with loving yourself and all of your flaws," she told People.
7. Her kids eat healthier on the daily than most adults I know but Gwyneth does let them eat Oreos and Cheetos. Hello, Mom of the Year.
8. She and Chris go on double dates with Jay-Z and Beyonce on the regular, telling Harper's Bazaar in a recent interview they have a lot in common: "We're all calm, grounded people." Word!  

XOXO,

B

All I'm Saying Is, Put Down Your iPhone. You Deserve a Real Date.

I grew up watching black and white romantic classics with my grandmother – think Roman Holiday and From Here to Eternity. While this did solidify my obsession with Audrey Hepburn and teach me the value of a perfectly tailored dress, it also left me with unbelievably high expectations of meeting someone new and subsequently, the first date. We should meet somewhere adorably unexpected – a coffee shop, on a business trip, at the park – then he would take charge and plan our night – picnic, dinner for two at a new place, hot air balloon ride because he knows a guy – where we will inevitably discover random common interests. 

The reality? Your friend from work/church/yoga knows a guy who is "perfect for you" because he's "super funny"so she has him look you up on Facebook. There's no candlelight, only the illumination from your iPhone as you read the short, vague message from Mr. Breezy. He asks for your number and you send it, under the pretense that he'll call and there will be no more typing. He texts and asks you for coffee/drinks/to watch basketball at his place and you're supposed to what…swoon?

It's 2013. I get it. I love my Apple products just as much as the next twenty-something and you don't even want to hear about the time I thought I had lost my iPhone to a carny cray's water spill at Bonnaroo. Google, Facebook, Twitter and yes, Linked In, are excellent tools to make sure your prospective date isn't married/a serial killer/repulsive, BUT you have to stop there. Investing too much time in analyzing someone's online persona is guaranteed to mess with whatever might develop when you actually spend time with that person. You start to rule him out because of what, he wore a man tank in 2004? 

Whatever happened to sitting across from someone and hearing firsthand where they work, what music they're into, where they went to college and where they ate amazing mexican last night! The eye gaze, the body language, the chemistry! I propose that we step away from the crutch that is social media and date the old-fashioned way called conversation. Besides, getting to know someone new and the anticipation you feel shoot out your fingers and toes is what it's all about, right? 

XOXO,

B

Dear B: To Bareleg?

Dear B,

Since Easter's over and we're all springing into April, is it acceptable to lose the tights and go bare leg? My legs are super pale but I'm thinking it's now or never, right? HELP.

Lylas,
XXXXXX


Dear Barbara Walters,

With Easter came many a fashion tragedy, and while I tried to focus on the good book at Sunday service I found myself shivering at all the short dresses and bare legs. Why? Not because of the shining paleness or the bright colors - because there were plenty of Easter eggs out there - but because it was less than 60 degrees and everybody had visible goosebumps.

As for me and my limbs, I choose to go bareleg once it's warm enough out that I will remain happy and goosebump-free. Have a cute dress that's akin to the Grace Potter mini? Keep it safely in your closet until the warmer weather arrives. Don't waste a good outfit on the cold and cloudy.

And if all else fails, ask yourself if Connie Britton ('s hair) would wear that. Works every time.

xoxo-B

Monday Prayers With B.

Today we come together to ask some tough questions about an old fan favorite of your's and mine: 50 Cent. So many items I would love to discuss with him, given the Oprah-level opportunity. I challenge you to turn on "Just a Little Bit" as we ask Curtis (almost) 21 questions:

Where are you?

Was your interview with Oprah an intervention or a Match.com set-up?

What happened with Chelsea Handler? 

Was that a Match.com set-up? OkCupid? 

Did she call you Curtis? 

Have you really been shot 50+ times?

Why did you become man-anorexic to play a character in a movie no one saw? 

You have a home in suburban Connecticut. WHAT IS THAT? 

Are you still mad at Kanye?

XOXO-B

Spring is for lovers?

Today is officially the start of Spring, one of my favorite times since it means Summer is creeping close behind. With this season change comes plenty of questions from my curious brain; a blessing and a curse, really. Here’s what I’m pondering –

Why is it still 45 degrees out?

Who did John Mayer cheat on Katy Perry with?

What is Jessica Biel’s favorite song off her husband’s new album?

Has Britney Spears threatened to shave her head (again) anytime in the past 6-8 months? 

What’s chemically wrong with the people who like their own Instgram photos…and like their ex’s Instagram photos?  

Why does our intern look like Matt Saracen?

Why did Kim have to get pregnant and completely dash my dreams of Jay-Z and Kanye playing at Lollapalooza 2013?

Why do guys think “hanging out and watching basketball” is an acceptable first, second or third date?

Is Lindsay Vonn on bath salts?

Why do people choose to own cats?

Does the Pope sleep in that hat?

Are hats chic now?

XOXO-B

COMMENTARY FROM THREE EDUCATED WOMEN DURING THE BACHELOR FINALE.

Chris Harrison is basically Bieber's stepdad.

Does Sean "no eyebrows" Lowe own shoes?

Do you think he has a belly button?

His v-neck was sprayed on, obviously.

Say note again. NOTE.

Give a rose to Sean's dad.

Her voice makes me want to vomit this gluten-free cookie up.

She sounds like an 8 year old with a sinus infection.

Can you have HIS hand in marriage? Not so funny when he doesn't pick you.

I think he dyes his hair.

He looks like a horrible Hollister ad right now.

THAT MAN TANK. I cannot.

No, you did not decide to float down that river, ABC did...they also gave you a geography and history lesson on Thailand before filming.

What if Biden and Chris Harrison switched gigs?

Unfortunately we all remeber your first kiss on the stairs.

Is she old enough to drink?

If I didn't like our awesome TV so much I would chunk this at his face.

Look! It's Mulan.

Notice they didn't show her getting up on the elephant.

XOXO-B

My ElimiDate.

Sometimes you go to dinner and have a nice quiet meal with friends and sometimes you go to dinner and end up being an extra on ElimiDate. 

A few nights ago I was exhausted – publicity is tough – and all I wanted to do was see my friends and eat food. Preferably at a chic/non Las Palmas or Pei Wei place, of course. We ended up at one of my favorite local establishments, no wait, and were seated in the corner next to a couple sitting on the same side of the table and a few drinks in. Now, I didn't judge these two right away. I assumed this was a first or second date and I assumed they were from Murfreesboro. Mid-30s. He was wearing aviators (yes, indoors, at night) and a hoodie/leather coat combo; she was wearing a red pleather skirt with a fur coat. 

I never heard her speak; only giggle. He, like any true douchebag, talked about himself and covered all of the following topics that landed him firmly in the ElimiDate elite:

He knows a lot of songwriters.

He loves LA but is over the scene.

He knows someone who is friends with someone who knows Elton John. 

You don't know that song? (HE THEN PROCEEDED TO SING) *this happened twice

A record company cut him a check for "like seven figures."

You want to go to Brazil? Let's go to Brazil. I'll take you.

He once either rescued small kids in an ocean or taught kids how to swim in an ocean. (muffled)

He's so glad he met her because she's so hot. 

XOXO,

B